Prologue Previous Chapter

Shara

Lungs aching, heart pounding, Shara ran in the darkness. Trees flitted by on either side, separated by patches of tall grass that weaved back and forth of their own will. The footsteps boomed behind her, thundering along the ground. She desperately fought for more speed, but her feet betrayed her and she stumbled forward, rolling and twisting. A shadowy figure leapt towards her, arm outstretched as she rolled off of the cliff face and into the air, falling, falling.

She shuddered awake, gasping. Cold droplets of sweat danced on her arms.

Just a dream. Just a dream.

She closed her eyes and concentrated on slowing down her racing heart. The night air felt cool on her skin, and moist. It would rain tomorrow. The fire crackled, and shivered as a log collapsed. Tohm was snoring quietly nearby, an unmistakably bird-like whistle.

Two men were talking softly, urgently, away from the campsite.

Her heart pounded again, the memories from the dream too fresh. She snapped her eyes shut and froze, barely breathing, focused on the voices.

“— food here.”

“will be — patient.” Armis

“No. ” louder now, “I — not be patient.” Barak

What are they talking about? Shara looked around. Everyone else was asleep. Raising her head slightly, she could see the two standing near a large rock that glowed orange-red in the dying firelight. Focused on their conversation, they didn’t seem to notice her. But the vehemence in their voices was unmistakable. Curious, she slid out of her bed, ignoring the cold air against her bare legs. Crouching, she crept away from the campsite, hiding in the soft shadows as she tried to get close enough to hear.

“We can’t stay here. We need to find another Clan.” Armis said.

Barak shook his head. “I’ve already told you. We don’t need another Clan – we need food.”

“The buffalo run is too far south of here.”

The buffalo run! Since she could remember, every summer the hunters had set out in groups, marching eastwards across the grassy plains, returning a few days later with slabs of meat and skin piled high on travois. The men would return with tales of the trip – the animals they had seen, the dangers they had faced, and she had listened intently, imagining what a river of the brown animals must look like, as she scraped a skin, or tended the meat as it roasted over the fire pit.

“- rabbits. Or Caribou. There are plenty of things to hunt.” Armis’s voice, urgent and frustrated, snapped her out of her memories.

“Wolves hunt caribou and rabbits. We will be marching through their territories, stinking of blood. We’ll be lucky if we aren’t attacked on the first night.” Barak sounded very sure.

Armis shook his head. “We have to find another Clan! We can’t spend our days hunting buffalo.”

“That’s not an argument, Armis. And you are not the chief. I don’t have to obey you.”

Armis fell silent.

Shara’s heart pounded hard in her chest. Did he just say—

Barak spoke again. “I’m not going with you.” A pause. “I am going south to the buffalo trails.”

Armis was shaking his head. “We need to stay together.”

Barak wants to leave? For a moment, she was too stunned to keep listening. There are so few of us left as it is.

“– with me. We’ll build a new camp.” Barak again.

“We have to find other people.”

“Aaargh. Enough.” Barak angrily slashed his hand through the air. “Other people can wait, but our stomachs can’t. There’s no way I’m wandering around the wilderness, hoping to stumble on a dead caribou. I am going south tomorrow. I suggest you join me.”

“The rest of the Clan won’t follow you.”

Barak shrugged. “I think some of them will.”

“You would split up the Clan?” Armis sounded incredulous.

“If need be. Better half of us starve than all of us.”

She couldn’t hear this. It didn’t make any sense. But he had said it. “I am going south tomorrow.” She listened dumbly to the conversation, unable to move. Say something, Armis. Make him understand.

Barak turned and walked away.

Armis stared after him for a little while, shoulders slumped in defeat. Whirling, he scooped a rock up from the ground and threw it far into the night. He stared at the darkness for a moment, and sat down on the boulder, punching himself hard in the thigh.

Shara laid silently in the grass, staring back at the writhing embers of the fire, wondering what to do, wondering what she could do. The aching cold finally pushed her into action, sending her stumbling back to her bedroll, eyes fogged with tears, mind whirling. Diving into her blankets, she twisted and turned, slamming her fists into the soft leather, low moans escaping from her clenched teeth.

“Shara. Sssh.”

The pain in her heart exploded, pouring through her body until it seemed like every muscle cried out in anguish. They are all I have. She felt a cry building up inside, a cry of rage, of betrayal, of disbelief. It was growing. It was coming.

No! You’ll wake the others.

Images flashed in her head. Her father. Her mother. Her baby sister. Oola, Kito, Reya, Mika, Shaman, Roggo, Armis, Barak… They whirled together as she launched out of her blankets, shrieking with rage up to the night sky.

And then the dim firelight seemed to flash in front of her eyes. Pale, frightened faces appeared everywhere around her, only to disappear and reappear again almost instantly. She felt herself turning, still screaming, running into the darkness, the weight and terror of the loss of everything she had ever known howling and shrieking behind her like a searing wind of hate chasing her towards her doom.

=-=

She twitched involuntarily, and sucked in a huge breath. It seemed like her whole body was on fire. Sitting up, she looked around sharply, her left side stinging. What happened? Walls of clay rose up on both sides. A moment’s glance told her she was in a rain gully, dry now, with sharp stones and pebbles littering the bottom. How did I get here?

She remembered running in the dark.

Falling?

A blackberry vine dangled down one side, heavy with fruit. Her stomach churned, and she snatched at the berries, stuffing them in her mouth, sweet and tangy. She rapidly picked the vine clean, juice running down her chin. Certain there were more, she scrambled to her feet, following the vine up and out of the gully.

It’s morning. Barak is leaving today.

She twitched again, and the pit in her chest reopened, loss and ruin eating at her heart. Legs shaking, she fell back to the ground, heedless of the stones cutting at her clothes.

All gone. If not yet, then soon.

A single berry bunch sat glistening on the ground in front of her. Angrily, she leaned forward to smash it, crush it, anything to distract her from the pain in her mind. But at the last, she pulled away, unwilling to waste food.

In the distance, she heard her name, carried on the wind. They’re looking for me. Her heart pumped faster for a moment as she thought about getting up, and returning to her friends…. Only to imagine Barak and some of the others abandon them, destroying what remained of her people, of her family, of her very life.

Why bother? Why even get up at all? Why not just sit here until the wolves take me?

“Is my little girl sad? Smile, sweet Shara. You will feel better soon.”

But mama, the boys are so mean! They threw rocks and called me ugly!

She felt her mother’s arms fold around her and she closed her eyes, falling back into a dream. Shara, you can’t let them bother you. Someday they’ll fight over the chance to spend time with you

Sing me a song, mama.

Her mother’s gentle voice enveloped her, smoothing away the pain. It was the nursing song, gentle and slow. Over and over again it echoed in her head, until she could sing along, finding warmth and safety again.

Mama, I love you.

“I love you too, little Shara. And your papa loves you, and even your little brother loves you.”

What will you name him?

“It is bad luck if I tell. Now open your eyes, little one, and go play with your friends.”

“Oh Mama.” she breathed, as she felt the cool clay of the gully pressing against her back. And then the tears came, flooding down her face, dripping down her nose, her arms, her legs. “I miss you.” She wasn’t supposed to think of the dead. But so many were gone… Impossible to forget them all.

After a time, she lifted her head from her arms, wiping the water from her eyes. The sun had moved well across the sky towards midday. Voices no longer called for her. “Did they leave without me?” Suddenly frightened, Shara stood up with a start, something squelching between her toes.

What?

Her feet were buried to the ankles in a huge pile of berries. In an instant, she realized what had happened. Scrambling out of the gully, she shrieked with glee. “The Song. The Song. I found the Song!”

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Wednesday, April 5th, 2006 at 5:11 pm.
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